This shit saved my LIFE at Bonnaroo a few years ago. It rained hard and all the walking made me chafe so bad I was actually bleeding. A girl at the campsite beside ours saw me tending my wounds and gave me a bottle, it was wonderful. I take it every year now. Monkeybutt powder works well too.

You have to fill out a questionnaire and apply to post on their forums. I'm so tempted to make a fake account and check it out. I don't even have the heart to troll those poor women. I mean, I love a little spanking as much as the next woman, but not because I didn't clean up the kitchen fast enough or gave an…

Actually it's real LSD that I'm referring to. For a while in the mid-00's there wasn't anything pure out there, but someone in Atlanta apparently got a shitload of white on white and has been tossing it out like candy. I got some Alex Greys last summer and it was the cleanest, longest trip I'd had in a while. I was…

I don't know about everywhere else in the country, but in the southeast, ketamine has been making a HUGE comeback. It slacked off for a while there in the early 00's, but now that shit is everywhere. Also DMT-based research chemicals and LSD, especially around Atlanta (though I doubt the acid ever really went away,…

Right?! I couldn't resist! I went to the shelter to pick a dog and she walked up and sat in my lap and started licking my face. I took her home, she ate my stash one night, and we have been best friends ever since. I feel like since she suffered for the first 2 years of her life, I should just keep her as high as…

(Yep, this is said StonerDog. If you look behind her in the top right, that little box says "Medical Marijuana: For Daily Use Only)

"We'll always have Gawker"

Thanks, I'll let my dog know you're a fan when she puts down the bong.

Guys, guys. Calm down. It was ONLY a sex party for chrissake! Not like he approached these women at sexual harassment prevention programs and...

John Mayer, if said copulation only has to occur once.

If they don't have bananas to dip in the Nutella, this entire operation is for naught.

What does it say about me that I'm super turned on by his Einstein tattoo and funky chest/facial hair?

I try to dislike Carrie Underwood, I really do. I can honestly say I hate most of her music and I'm a little appalled that she was cast as Maria VonTrapp...but this was cute and she seems like a genuinely sweet person.

Didn't Eric die in the most recent episode of True Blood? Or it was implied that he was getting the extra crispy treatment?

Down here we call them Rolodix.

I feel like I have read something about her wanting to be in a movie/on a tv show but dropping out due to her religious beliefs. I can't for the life of me remember what it was, though.

Dr. Ruth: America's Granny

I don't know if you've seen Pitch Perfect, but one of the girls refers to her vagina as a dude. That's me. He's a hunter. If women are "hard wired" to be prudish my vagina is obviously a guy, because it's what does the decision making around my house.

Right? I have a rotating list of booty calls and they know it. One finds a girl, hops off the rotation, I replace him with another. No commitment from me, and life is good.

Happy Holidays to you, your dad, and the fish!