“What this article presupposes is, maybe this won’t be good?”

Oof. You guys have turned into the mean kids at school that pass around some girls diary for lolz.

That reads like a Childish Gambino rap.

Freshman Social Justice Warriors would MUCH RATHER pick at an individual Like Aziz who is very clearly making efforts to say right and do right, and very open about not claiming to be perfect about it, than to stare down an actual malevolent person, let alone the whole fucked up system. So much easier to stay at home…

Moms who get all creepy possessive over their sons is just fucking weird and strikes me as some reverse Oedipus complex where the Mom isn't getting enough romantic attention from the kid's father/her husband/or other romantic partner so is trying to get it from her kid. This Mom is like metaphorically pissing all over…

Which leads into

i think you guys are misunderstanding. it was very clear to me that he interpreted the dolphin's prolonged interactions with him as demonstrations of consent. that doesn't mean that i don't personally question that idea of consent, because i personally do not think animals can consent to humans, nor do i think consent…

Funny, because the media and detractors are trying to spin this as Marshawn Lynch being too conceited to talk to the reporters, but this interview makes it seem like the exact opposite. But seriously, man's got a point:

Patton Oswalt, pick up white courtesy phone...

Also, I would prefer fucksquatch not be there.

Any time I hear that one partner feels the other partner's sexual desire or functioning is gross or boring I know that relationship is going to end up being very difficult for at least one if not both of those people.

+100000000 for what I'm assuming is a Patton Oswalt reference.

Patrick Juice is my new porn name.

Letter writer should be congratulated for asking a question that made Dear Prudence's response sound like Dan Savage by comparison.

PATRICK. JUICE.

There are people who think masturbation in a relationship constitutes cheating. Most of us refer to those people as "complete fucking lunatics."

That's kind of a shit response. It'd be one thing if she wasn't living with him, but she is. The fact that they're living together by definition means there's a minimum of privacy to start with, and that the response was to expect him not to feel comfortable enough to service himself in his own bed. Yes it's her bed,…

Um...guys...it's not okay to point and laugh at other peoples' bodies. I'm the last person in the world to be all "what about the men!1!!1!" and I generally have close to zero sympathy for penis anxiety, but the way people are reacting to this is fucking gross and really, really surprising for Jezebel. There are…

Literally any of us who sit at our shit desk jobs commenting on sports would give almost anything to be an NFL-level player of any quality - even a benchwarmer - for one game - let alone be someone as good as him.

I am a good white person. ... And do you know what? I don't see a need to apologize for it.