Aside from any of this I really wonder what's got non-column people thinking they're owed a few pat phrases so badly that they can't help but get upset when he refuses to perform according to plan, especially when he looks like he's having an anxiety attack half the time. It's not like we don't know what's coming:

If you need consent to be the gross animal you are in front of the ONE person you entrust the most of yourself to, then you don't really have an intimate relationship and one of you needs out, because I'd feel bad for that facsimile.

Rude. To the person you've ostensibly entrusted every ugly, unlovable, crude, and weird impulse with, and that they'd still ostensibly love you for. That masturbating in their proximity is rude.

Anyone else go through each name and attempt to do their characters one by one or is that just me

Whenever someone starts this particular brand of fanwhining I become twice as interested in whatever's happening, and twice as generous to whatever the idea might be, because overly precious fan-policing is so boring! It's much more interesting to treat stories as mutable ideas with parallel iterations because…

Context.

Get down from there, stronzo!

Having been kept away by large eyes and stupid stories for what feels like forever, I've been slowly getting comfortable with the idea of watching anime again. First it was Attack on Titan, then Knights of Sidonia...

Man. That's one of those jokes where you laugh, and turn to see if other people are laughing, but they're not laughing, so you laugh harder, and everyone is embarrassed.

Don't take their clumsy self-satisfaction away for thinking someone's shitty podcast in comic form is a way to be in on a joke, biddle

Nnnnnnnnnah I always made fun of them because of the fevered desire to "acquire" "friendship" by making the concept as infantile as possible, creating a space where people can take the shortcut and feel entitled to a familiarity they haven't earned, just to feel socially accepted somewhere. It's sad as fuck and I have…

I am not curious as to the reasons for this weirdo's anger at a useful hoodie.

Ho-leee shit.

You could do this to anyone else, anything else, anywhere else. YOU LEAVE OUR FUCKING PIZZA ALONE OR YOUR BLOOD GOES IN THE SAUCE. IT IS KNOWN.

Haha, this is almost comically evil. Like, right out of a children's movie levels of diabolical. Somebody put googly eyes on this thing.

Holy shit shut the fuck up.

I also suspect that this kind of fake class is coveted for reasons of distinguishing "America's sport" from the more, uh, urban lack of forced humility in basketball and football. It's still the good ol boys sport, and they're not about to act like a bunch of monkeys out on the field.

Yes, thank you. I like dogs, and cats, and rats, and birds, and gerbils, and lizards, and snakes, and-

I admit, I came into this going "the curious story of who gives a fuck it is a shitty story whose cultural obsession has done nothing but hold us back."

"I'm gonna put another animal in a jar because I wanna know stuff and call it science"