Is it too much to hope for alcohol poisoning from boofing?

Annual reunion?

Just a gentle reminder that gorsuch and Kavanaugh went to prep together. And a not so gentle reminder that gorsuch is descended from the prominent slave owning colonialist gorsuch family of Maryland. Good day.

One can only assume he covers the 666 with his ring since the highly reflective head wouldn’t stop clerics in sunglasses.

The White House Halloween party must feature an appearance by Nosferudy Ghouliani, who scares children of all ages (and, one presumes, bears the scent of sulfur).

“When they left, they stopped on a street corner and shared another passionate kiss,” an eyewitness continued. “They huddled together in the rain but loved being outside and were laughing and smiling the entire time. They seemed very into each other.”

That’s the thing about skeletons in the closet - sometimes it turns out they’re stronger than you think...

This is one more reason that I am grateful that social media/internet/camera phones didn’t exist when I was in my teens. I was into my early 20s when I remember using language that I’d heard all my life and all of a sudden realizing it was wildly inappropriate. I still, to this day, find myself using colloquialisms…

I kept a diary or blog from age 12-25 (roughly 2000-2013). and HOO BOY let me tell you how glad I am that it’s private, because I had some Really Bad Opinions especially in middle/high school. Everything was “so gay” and I was being raised as a Southern Baptist Republican. I grew up a lot in college, but I have…

I miss Bobby's dirtbags. 

Here’s what I say to ex bullies and other people who were shitty to me in my youth when they try to friend me on FB:

There is only one Brother Nature in my book.

I was watching 4 lions at a zoo one time; two male and two female. One of the females was rather agitated, and was sitting on one edge of the enclosure with the other female just sitting with her. One of the males was slowly walking along the perimeter of the enclosure with the other male just sort of ambling along…

I mean, they do take up a lot of space...

Because locking animals who need to be out in the African plain into cages and small habitats makes them behave in unusual ways? Imprisonment tends to do that.

“He never listens.”

The zoo in my city brought in a male lion, in hopes of breeding it with their three lionesses. First thing the poor bastard did when they were introduced was have an epileptic fit. Now, the eldest lioness is the dominant one (and she is fucking cool. Lionesses are cool). Also, because he has no dominance, he can’t be…

I’ll just leave this here.

I mean if the PD started arresting every white person who filed a false report they’d lose their last remaining fanbase.

Holy shit, there’s literally a version of this story where the white woman walks into his apartment after him, shoots him and kills him, and gets away with it.