Your aunt called your mother a cunt?! She needs to take a look in the mirror. And all this over not inviting kids to the wedding, which is a totally completely normal thing? Assholes—everyone has one, but some people let it define them.

I’m not very familiar with Tyga, and especially when encountering new people, I try to say they are *acting* stupid/like an asshole/etc., instead of they *are* stupid/an asshole/etc., because everyone has moments of stupidity/assholishness/etc. but that shouldn’t necessarily define them.

But I’m learning enough about…

Seriously. Even animals that lick their genitals have dignity.

I’m trying to figure out what kind of person thinks having “his sex worker” deliver a eulogy, without consulting said “sex worker” about delivering said eulogy, is a good idea.

Still need to identify and catch the guy, and cash is easy to spend and much harder to trace than stolen credit/debit cards.

Well, that’s just begging to be robbed.

That sounds very sweet of them, actually; I just find the idea of surprising the deceased’s family members with anything a little off-putting.

Surprise. Graveside. Marching Band. Performance.

That’s wonderful. What an amazing man.

Very sorry for your loss. May the storms dissipate and you have a peaceful day during a difficult time.

This is my racial/cultural conditioning at work, but I’m picturing a guy white as snow, which makes it so much worse/better (mostly worse—pasty Irish House of Pain wannabe, noooooo).

If she ever offers you Kool-Aid, don’t drink it.

If this doesn’t win, then “bizarre” does not mean what I think it means.

So, why was it a Catholic service? Was it just that the priest was available, unlike those local layabout Episcopalian and Baptists?

At least the i’s weren’t dotted with hearts?

Ian McShane as MurderSanta was perfect. Like, yep, that’s the role he was born to play.

“with a bullet”

I see what you did there.

Like, Asylum was an awesome party, until someone dropped a turd (aliens) in the punchbowl.

Coven is my favorite season just for the epic Lange/Bassett face-offs, but Murder House was creepy campy awesomeness.

Unnnngh...
You are a scholar and a gentlesaur.