My own dingus (who is really my roommate’s dingus, but I’ve been adopted as beloved Aunt Adventure) loves to fall asleep next to my laptop, where he will occasionally stretch so that I either exit, tab over, or suddenly being TYPING IN ALL CAPS. He has zero remorse. Jerk.

Yeah, the whole thing was pretty blah, but he was amazing.

Decoy Bride is so much fun. And oh my god, the OUTFIT he has to wear.

There’s another show I can think of where he plays a truly vile man, but I don’t want to spoil it! Sorry, you’ll just have to go watch everything he’s ever done to find it. Such a trial, I know.

I’d pay $50 to watch a livestream of tiny acrobats kicking the shit out of Daniel Lamarre.

Brady's listed at 225. Like hell Roethlisberger is only 15 pounds heavier than him. Your estimate looks about right.

Never go full Kyrgios.

Whose idiotic idea was this? They did know Canadian football is different from American, right? What kind of lead time did they give the Winnipeg crew?

Ryan Fitzpatrick looks like he's spent the last several years on a deserted island with only a bloody-faced football for a friend.

Is... is this Gruden’s attempt to make Derek Carr jealous? “This Nate Peterman, he’s already been an Opening Day starter, maybe he should do it again!” I think Carr would be fine getting paid $20+ million not to get suplexed all season.

Thank you, I was going to post the same as soon as I read it. “Courtship” implies a mutual relationship; to describe sexual harassment in this way minimizes the violation committed by the harasser.

I believe this hiring qualifies as elder abuse.

I mean, he could be both, we don’t know.

My 34G boobs understand your pain.

Like, here’s a thought: make a lane in each direction of the Beltway a dedicated bus lane. Buy a lot of buses. Run them often. Maybe there will be less cars on the road if there was reliable, frequent mass transit. I dunno, maybe that’s just crazy SOCIALIST talk.

Alpha Omega Nickelberry III is my sleeper Final Four pick. The only one I could see giving him trouble is Pope Thrower.

Yeah, can’t lie, I’m honestly considering that one. But I might wait to see if a cheap knockoff shows up on ThinkGeek for $35.

The jaguar was only doing what is in its nature to do—strange animal/potential prey comes near, attack it.

I’m a Red Sox fan, so I fucking hated Rivera, but goddamn if he doesn’t deserve this. I would have said any writer who didn’t vote for him should have their ballot taken away (some of them still should, but that’s another issue).

DC doesn’t need a new fancy $2B private pool to dispose of Snyder—there’s a perfectly fine public reflecting pool at the National Mall.

And if you held a raffle to see who’s the lucky bastard that gets to hold his head under, that’s likely to raise $2B you can put toward schools and the Metro.