How likely is it he’s also “very high” on PCP-laced marijuana?

It's what happens when you go to ludicrous speed.

Pretty high horse you’re on there, Father. Would be a shame if someone knocked you off it by pointing out the long list of sins committed by Catholic clergy against children. Real shame.

Rachel Brazo sounds like the only remotely competent, humane person working at USA Gymnastics. 

“I don’t get these Packers fans. Cheeseheads? Now that’s just ridiculous. CheeseHANDS are where it’s at. Just ask Ol’ Cheddar Rick. He’s got a pack of dogs for a protection thanks to those sculpted dairy mitts. A nibble a day keeps the other hobos away, as the saying goes. Can’t grab for shit, but he saved a pinky to…

Well, he’s 1000% sure he’s going to walk away from this altercation without a scratch. Small fry is lucky all his organs are still in the right place.

I'd love to help her with that.

Probably hassling some black kids for being "disruptive" while sitting on the train and talking and laughing. 

There’s not a jury that would convict us.

Not just exploited labor—exploited *child* labor! 

Flopping starts at the top.

If USAG were at all smart (they’re obviously not), they’d get Biles, Raisman, et al involved in the search process. Hopefully they know of at least one person in the gymnastics world who’s not an abuser/abuse-enabling piece of shit.

We are all Mia.

I love that movie (young hot Ralph Fiennes, hello), although yeah, it’s an odd one. But I’ve used weird Canadian horror spoofs as first date movies, so I can’t really judge.

Who’s weirder--the weirdo who licks a stranger’s chest in the middle of the night, or the weirdo who is not weirded out by it?

FUCK. FUCK. FUCKITY NOPE.

I have absolutely no doubt that this is all too sadly true, but I also love that the narrative structure of this resembles the old “hook hand” scary story. Classic style, well told.

And, you know, Jeeeeeeezus. So glad you got away.

UGH. THE WORST (and by worst, I mean pants-shittingly best).

I thought that was Fat Adam Driver.

Yeah, his wife said he has been running away from home for extended periods throughout his life, although football certainly hasn't helped his brain.. It could be bipolar disorder; it sounds like it could also be schizophrenia. Hopefully the evaluation can pin down a diagnosis and treatment, and I'm glad both he and…

I’m not 100% sure about the Queen’s opinion, but it’s well-known Charles wants to keep The Royal Family pared down. Anne and Edward and their families seem quite content with that idea. Andrew has major middle child syndrome, though.