@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: So, I decide that I'm going to take your advice and head for the Mount Gay. But since I only DUAN when all of my responsibilities have gone to sleep and I hit whatever bottle is closest, I first dumped a few ounces of Jack into the A&W.

@ursa: You throw some raisins on top of that and you've got something.

@Bellwether Johnson: Post No Bills

What liquor would best be mixed with root beer?

@WashingtonForeskins: Yeah, it's much more entertaining than the Mac/Dee marriage. Frankly, I wish two of the McPoyles were married. I don't even care which two.

@Same Sad Echo: Are you referring to the Greg Kite Memorial Door?

@Lady Pha Pha: Well, we know that that it isn't cunt. The Brits would never bleep out cunt. In fact, those limey cunts throw the word cunt around with less discretion than neo-Brit Madonna uses when flashing her cunt. I mean if the Brits are willing to call just about anyone a cunt under the right circumstances,…

@Body By Bacardi: Too late. You're already sinking.

Debra Lafave would like to tutor your son. That is all.

@Demon Deacon Blues: I'm in my mid thirties, so far I held out from going to a GT show because I thought I'd be the geriatric of the group. Am I correct and if so, should I care?

@FavreFAIL: "This guy I know" once issued a grand jury summons to the best man of my wedding so that his boss couldn't fire him for skipping two days for my bachelor party.

@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: I don't know. Sounds like that cunt deserved it.

@UweBollocks: Dont ever spend an extended period of time in New Jersey. Everything you've ever heard about Jersey drivers is dead on fucking accurate. As my dad always said, stereotypes don't invent themselves.

@Eddie Murray Sparkles: Just bump into them. It helps.

@The CFL Allstar: Played beer pong against a boss once. Was already lit when we played and called him a bitch when we won. I didn't get fired, but he made my life hell for the rest of the summer.

@Prick Top: Mt. Gay it was. I bought it after reading a DUAN recommendation (from you, I believe). Hadn't had it in years. Worth the wait.

@ClueHeywood: God, I hope that's all on your business card.

@Desi_Relaford: Nice, even if he found it, he wouldn't make it to the cashier before closing.

@FavreFAIL: I got into Andrew Bird because of his appearance on Jack's Big Music Show as "Dr. Strings." Cool dude.

@WashingtonForeskins: Dame Judy Dench. Why?