Congratulations on living up to every stereotype ever promulgated about you.

@Nahnsense: You know, it's one thing to anonymously discuss one of the most personal, intimate moments of your life on an internet blog. It's another to subtly poke fun at your partner's promiscuity or the elasticity of her most private of orifices.

She settled on Rounding 3rd With Susan Finkelstein after Blogspot rejected "Phinkelstein's Phinger-Phucking Phantasies"

@Al Swearengen hates cocksuckers: I'm pretty sure that you're supposed to call your doctor somewhere around the four hour mark.

Kobe Bryant, you just won your fifth NBA Championship. Where are you headed?

@shmendo: My parents were less than thrilled that I passed up an (unofficial) full (academic) scholarship to play soccer at Bates, but I'll be damned if I was going to live in Lewiston Fucking Maine for 4 years.

Hey assholes,

@Whiteteaandpoptarts: 4 seconds? Stud.

Stuffing the ballot box: cute when the Japanese fans do it, not so cute when it's Texans.

Everyone at work acted like I kicked a puppy when I commented on all the Chinamen in the stands.

Redacted by the Department of Redundancy Department.

because it's really important that we protect the awesome Michigan-Ohio State rivalry at all costs.

John Popper doesn't play the harmonica anymore?

For lethal defense, you should still talk to Delonte West.

@cromartie: Agreed, I went to one BBQ joint downtown that looked like an old high school cafeteria. Not much too look at, but damn good BBQ. Of course, on the way out, some old guy actually panhandled me. Shaking the cup and everything.

It may sound like this Cannon kid has a lot going for him, but he's completely fucked. He lives in Memphis.

@Seasonone: yeah, what is this, the NL Central?

Huh, Wright seems more like a Stuart Holden kind of guy.

Just because I read it on the shitter, doesn't mean that I accept The New York Post as a representative voice of the American public.