@redreb: It means that you're all about arm-wrestling.

Exercising my healthy distrust for the mainstream media's editorializing and such, I'm going to have know who these children have been abusing before I weigh in on whether it's a "big problem" or not.

@Donnie_Iris: Betweeen his "constructive criticism" of Halak's nerves and his super douchetastic spraying of the five-year old, it's just nice to see Ovechkin go back to Russia before May 1st.

@Steve U: Anywhere that gentiles congregate?

Hate to break it to Sam and Davey, but that Antigua kid from Puerto Rico/Jersey is Albert Pujols to their kids' Daniel Murphys.

@ClueHeywood: Big Ben cannot conceive. He pulls out.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: I think that Lucy Liu should do the squeezing to emphasize the anti-occidents.

Lucky for Tebow, the Good Book can easily be read in clipboard form from the Broncos' sideline.

Jus cuz i did sumthin stupid, u guyz dont gotta publicize it and f up my new sports radio kereer. F u. i'm gonna get u.

@Peter Nincompoop: Duly noted. Carry on.

@Peter Nincompoop: You and Joe-Kim will just have to agree to disagree.

@Armen Tamzarian: One man's nightmare is another man's prelude to a nocturnal emission.

@thewhizzonator: But are you drunk?

@I Like Cheap Beer: This article did make me think about Tom Verducci's glowing article about Jason Heyward. If everything that Goldstein and Verducci write about the pair is taken at face value, Heyward is the better example of the anti-Harper.

drewmagary #tweetyourpunchlines 0.00

Dash, you just don't want Brooklyn to have nice things!

@President Camacho: Apple already sponsor teams. Although they sponsor a much smaller share of the market, their sponsorship has been critically acclaimed for causing the franchises to run smoother and avoid viruses.

@Step aside, Son: Walker was not ready to address claims that the Basketball program is also involved. Tyrone Shoelaces is wanted for questioning.

@PaulCrewesBookie: Only until it gets married.

I always hear people say that "in your sleep" is the best way to die. No way. When my tickets pulled, I want to be out "Crews'n" Little Lake Nellie, enjoying the sunset and some road sodas with my buddy, Bobby O.