Ingram blamed the incident on reckless Ute.

@twoeightnine: The Brewers and the Padres are the only previews that still have less than 10K page views. Sounds about right.

1. Woods,

How'd you get the beans above the franks?

@Barry Petchesky: Man, that was 6 years ago. I wonder how that poor lad's life of privilege was affected by Duke's loss of the 2004 ACC championship. I like to think that he started sneaking pills out of his stay-at-home mom's medicine cabinet to dull the pain. Then, unable to maintain a sufficient numbness, he…

That girl's almost dark enough to induce the erotic rage of the Blue Devils' lacrosse team.

@Steve U: No, it's because all commenters after 10 on a Friday night are Friends.

@Armen Tamzarian: One time, as I was getting my kids ready for daycare I caught a glimpse of Magenta's owner and thought "I could probably jack it to her." I haven't seen her since and fear that I might end up on a government watch list if you bang one out to the artist formerly known as Noggin.

@Orangecrush16: What's the name of that strip club just off the interstate. I took 3 shits there one night.

@nixondickhouse: No, that girl is hot.

Their fathers can take solace in the fact that they are both clearly wearing underwear.

@Armen Tamzarian: and his side-table drawer. Don't forget that. He talks to the drawer of the fucking side table in his living room.

@MopUpReliever: bollocks.

S. I. E. N. A.

Cornell changed their mascot to the Bubbalicious Watermelon Splash?!?

Those boots can turn an undersized 2 guard into a formidable swingman!

Her cousin is soooo lucky.

@AzureTexan: At least you've put your best foot forward.

There better be some tail from Purdue, because otherwise, tomorrow's "Shots of Rye in Pint of Bud Take on Purveyors of Not Less than Three Miracles" open thread is going to be notable sans eye candy

@Can I Borrow a Feeling: You are two.