Maybe his stalled candidacy has a little something to do with his professed love of Fucking Androgenous Retarded Tweens.

"And this is our cutest SUV. It's called the Rogue. It's a little naughty, a little nice and just a fabulous as the plaid sweater vest I'm wearing."

Erik Wynalda thinks this commercial is overrated.

Brandon Jennings? That Kid can Play!

Not surprised. Bobby Flay told me that the Cuban sandwich was an homage to Fidel's penchant for porking the a lady's pressed buns with his pickle.

@TotallyRuckedUp: Referring to it as his first contract implies there may be a second.

Donovan McNabb was passed over as guest commentator for the game because he doesn't know the O.B. rules.

If David Hume isn't even in the discussion, I guess I just don't understand the rules.

@AzureTexan: Call me a skeptic, but I think your critique is a little fishy.

I'd like to thank Eddie Murphy for critiquing Vick's acceptance speech thirteen years before it happened.

In the case of Tim Hardaway v. The Very Thought of Sharing a Lockerroom with John Amaechi, plaintiff introduces the still shot of Fisher looking at Brown's ass as Exhibit 1 and rests his case.

As long as pollsters and computers (rather than football player) play a predominant role in determing the national champion, Division 1A football will be nothing more than full contact rhythmic gymnastics.

Which one of Tiger's whores came in second?

Kroger, my son says your company stinks. You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a date with a babe...

Pissah?

@ProjectBadass: Ankiel can get his HGH from Pettitte's dad.

Did Sam Champion enter the witness protection program once he agreed to testify the D.V. case against Mike Piazza?

@David Hume: To the Rhodes Scholar of the Commentariat, I offer my humble, unstarred +1. It is an honor, Sir.

I'll bet $10 that this post went up because our mystery e-mailer sent AJ a photo of "herself" that bears a slight resemblance to Melissa Lima.

Will Leitch's "God Save The Fan" is released.