@Bobby Big Wheel: Although Flynt's departure had a longer lasting effect, Andre Smith's rookie campaign still has good fresh stink on it.

Troy Polamalu doesn't pass block too, does he?

Pudzianowski boasted that when he finished with him, Marcin Najman's nickname would have to be changed to "El Estrogenon"

@Chris Kuntz: What do your brothers Rusty, Gaping and Stinky think?

@Hatey McLife: Was he the mulatto kid from Alaska that played for Duke?

Chinese voting irregularities have also crippled the All-Star aspirations of Pau Gasol and his fake slanty-eyed brethren.

@FredGarvin: So what happened in the first 27 days of August anyway?

@bigredgambler: I wondered why she never showed for Thanksgiving dinner this year. I mean when you promise to bring the green bean casserole and you don't even show up... that's just inconsiderate.

@AlbinoRhino: The Diamondbacks were the Lucky Pierre of the Granderson trade.

@paxcincinnatus: Then how did Spurrier not land Brady Quinn?

@Muggs Bigglesworth: ...so Chasey Lain is still prominently involved? I can live with that.

Do you make $45,000 a year? I sure don't.

I'll try to find a loofah and hair gel

You talk a lot about going to the bathroom but you never talk about washing your hands after.

@Ken Phelps All Stars: Careful, Peter Gammons/Andrew Jackson jokes became verboten at 3:11 this afternoon.

@Civil Negligence: I'd venture that there's at least three empties on the floors of each of those trucks.

@ClintonPortishead: They're even less likely to die of dysentary if they don't play Oregon Trail.

Welcome to the new world, mainstream media, where the blanks are about to be filled-in.

@David Hume: Do not mess with Jim Dandy.

Jane Curtain is looking to get her career back on track by playing Bill James' love interest.