If you ever wondered what Peyton and Thomas Magnum's love-child would look like...

When asked for comment, Manny replied "Jimmy Rollins scored with Greg Dobbs using a double-ended what now?" #mannyramirez

@MarkKelsosMigraine: I'm more a fan of Arby's Gonorrhea-fetish series, The Roast Beef With Cheese. #fights

I once spent $80 per song to have a Puerto Rican on each arm. #alexrodriguez

I anxiously await the headline:

Upon hearing the news that they were getting a WNBA franchise, the people of Tulsa collectively shed more tears than the Cherokees. #sad

Upon hearing the news that they were getting a WNBA franchise, the people of Tulsa collectively shed more tears than the Cherokees. #sad

Julian Edelman stands at the ready.

Hmmm... The Rickster starts pimping a blond wannabe reporter the same week that the Sideline Princess contemplates life after unnecessary and uninformative halftime interviews?

@NotMyFirstRo-Day-O: Now NotMyFirstRo-Day-O, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.

You can't do any real peeping at the Vanderbilt Marriot because their peepholes aren't on the side of the door like most hotel doors. Instead, they're way down at the end of the room, under the hoops.

Ken. Tremendous. Head. Asplode.

Phil Ginsburg is lucky that this all happened after MJ's induction speech.

@Nasal Sacks: Or if a non-communicative quadriplegic killed Terri Schiavo.

@Ralph Wiley's In His Grip: Don't interrupt him. He's attempting an over-simplified, non-sensical metaphor.

@UkraineNotWeak: John Ratzenberger.

@JohnnyDakotaStateU: So does Abner Louima but he's got the Yankees over the Dodgers in seven too.

@ThaddeusClymenus: Looks like someone cracked open a 16 oz can of stupid.

Or you could stop being Debbie Downer and take your Deadspin Road Trip to go see the opening of 101 Dalmations - The Musical at Minneapolis' Orpheum Theatre on October 13.

From 2000 to 2002 Rich Gannon was a two time first team All-Pro with a 33-15 record, just uner 12,000 yards passing and 81 touchdowns.