I once convinced Kevin Pelton that being 5'9" and 40 pounds overweight actually gives me a significant advantage on the court becuase the ball sees me, feels a certain rounded oneness with me and therefore tries harder to find its way to the basket whenever I shoot.

@TT-Zop: or pine cones.

You're with me Zubaz.

No. No. What I'm trying to tell you that I'm lost in a sea of Guineas!

@MagicJohnsonsT-Cells: That's because he starts from half way down his taint.

He was a roommate of my buddy Jack. Jack told me that Terry had this disturbing habit of telling everyone that he just had six with himself after he jerked off.

This brawl and the incidental match going on inside the stadium are brought to you by Carling. If it tastes like piss, it's Carling.

Considering that under Section 363 of the Bankruptcy Code, the Court will only accept the "highest and best offer," Bettman and his boys should have to pony up at least as much money as Balisle.

@This is my Star: Ray Lewis would like to take a stab at continuing this punny thread (or at least help one of his friends do so.)

@Starburied: Wow. You almost missed an oppotunity to make a Boston is racist joke. Close call.

@Clayton Vernon: Marques Colston thinks that's a FAAAABULOUS idea.

The Erie County DA's Office indicts misdemeanors? That's cute.

@Muggs Bigglesworth: The Mets have listed him as "Day to Day"

Hayes took his role seriously. He did whatever was asked. He retrieved footballs. He did home work for the guys that actually made the team./fixed

@dan_in_accounting: AMEN to that.

Sparkling dress shirt? Check.

@J-No: He's an O's fan. If he's not already an alcoholic, becoming one could only improve his quality of life.

Hey, McNabb asked for playmakers!

Beltre suffered the injury in the ninth inning when a ground ball off the bat of Chicago White Sox shortstop Alexei Ramirez hit Beltre in the groin. Beltre does not wear a protective cup.

now it's much harder for anyone to say that he got off "easy."