You've got to buy the $240 model in that situation. I mean, you can get a basic pervert cam for $99. But that one requires two-handed operation and well...

@MarkKelsosMigraine: I always watch films to completion. Then I close my internet browser and go clean myself up.

@Kid Canada: Neither Andrew Wood nor Layne Staley would have pulled that shit...

I've heard people refer to The Westin as a dump, but never a jail.

McOwen's feat should delay his inevitable "occupational transition" to taping dry wall for at least a fortnight or two.

@MattMillenFanClub: getting a public DUI while wearing a dress so short you need two haircuts is reason to snap.

@SynicVance2.0: What's wrong with Megan Fox's thumbs?

...on a steel table in the Nashville morgue?

@apostles03: Why've you got to be such a square(pants)?

Eh, hasn't Jeter already sunk a putt or two into every notable hole he's played?

Now, if she had a sweet ass like that Jeff George fella...

Rest assured that the "Classy Captain" will alert the nearest ump the next time he phantom tags second while turning two.

She can blow up my bathtub any time she wants.

Like McNair, Kazemi did her best work out of the shotgun.

Even their 2009 draft pick is old. Lester Hudson (G, Tenn.-Martin) will turn 25 before training camp opens.

@Little Wooden Boy: Oh, that was Dwight Howard that starred in the ill-fated bicycle cop cable drama Pacific Blue/

Huh, Dutchess County has a problem with Ladies' Night. Ain't that ironic.

@HockeyMountain: Easy mistake. You'll never convince me that Juliette Lewis doesn't have a cock.

Driving to the hoop, Parker was fouled so hard that her placenta fell out.

@ErnestGrahamGoesToVoluntaryMin...: Are you going to eat your fat?