I never thought that I'd be disappointed to not see Nick Green in the line-up.

If I saw Matt Birk in goggles, a head-band and white shorts with 1" inseam, I'd shit my pants.

@Andy Reid's Children: Tommy Morrison is more ashamed of Rocky V than he is of having AIDS>

Osceola does not sound like a good place to drive around.

@J Money BS: Exaggerated home runs always travel further off an aluminum bat.

Texas-Pan American's Scott Wingo, with 179 against Northern Colorado

I had no idea that Morrison was even on the Lakers. Apparently, he and Shannon Brown were dealt by Charlotte for Vlad Radmonovic. Unless that Shannon chick is hot, the Bobcats got jobbed.

If this was covered long ago, forgive me, but if a cat fight between John Calipari's daughter and Ben Zobrist's wife broke out, who'd blow a load first?

@Shakey: Don't know. David Stern is flummoxed as well.

I'd fuck the B'Jesus out out of her?

Once, an Ojinnaka board told me that my grandfather was dead. I mean, sure, he was dead, but those Ojinnaka people are fucking frauds!

Why weren't the Cavs "dancin" on the sidelines?

@ClintonPortishead: Even more ironic — the driver was Ji-Sung Park.

Patrick Roy cordially invites the 'Lanche to take their Denver Post and shove it up their collective rocky mountain five hole

You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner. It's a sailboat.

It was a lacrosse party. If he wasn't busted for raping a single-mom stripper from Bunker Hill CC, he was behaving himself.

Just to change it up, today's championship match will be played over 7 innings rather than 2 halves.

Well, the world needs jock-sniffers too, Danny.

@the earl of weaver: Is your company currently accepting applications from unmotivated attorneys?

Bullshit. Calling the game before the 12th inning totally screwed my Penguins, Sotomayor, Wayne County parlay.