I think we are all living in an elaborate sequel to the movie The Others.

You hit the nail on the head with the “lifestyle childhood” bullshit that goes on. I really had to swim against the tide in order not to get caught up in it when my kids were little. Obviously when the kids are tiny and constantly trying to kill themselves, it’s hard to relax and have free time because you do have to…

The writing on that one is the BEST. I lost it at fleeing the great Fucks Famine of 2015.

OH GOD. I haven’t even finished reading but that Funky Town story has brought actual tears to my eyes.

Apparently in Texas you do not have to identify yourself to the police unless you are under arrest. So if they arrested her for not identifying herself, they got the law backwards.

There doesn’t *need* to be two-party consent to disclose the content of an email - emails aren’t secretly recorded conversations.

I don’t live in Lake County but I work there, and the outrage and support for this officer’s “execution” was intense and super-racist. My old hs English teacher and a few others changed their fb pictures to “Blue Lives Matter” and talked about the “war on police”.

Right? Also, JFK is an INTERNATIONAL airport. There were absolutely, without a doubt, people who spoke Italian inside one (or all) of the terminals who could have helped him. Fuck you, JFK security.

I worked on that analogy for weeks.

the WORST ones are the ones with any kind of embroidery. my parents’ upstairs bathroom has a “beach” theme, and my mom got these tiny hand towels with seashells embroidered on them. but you can’t dry your hands with them!! it’s just scratchy embroidered thread!!

May those of us who have never sucked a dick or dove deep into a pussy cast the first stone.

Are you asking a logical question of a woman who stuffed 14 cats in a suitcase...?

It is also important to remember that ONE ISN’T FUCKING REAL AHHHHHFDAJVRUWNGOIRWNTDJSNGUDSNGJDNSGJKDSG.

i believe what he is saying is that god sent the iceburg to punish man for transitioning from an agrarian economy to a manufacturing economy

What you don’t know is that late at night, beet’s huge labia sneak like tentacles out into the living room and slowly suck the life out of him.

(Sarah Koenig voice) But what would a woman who fux with boy shorts and pasties... be doing on Backpage?

On a second date about ten years ago, I said to the guy sitting across from me, “So, I like you, you’re totally awesome. But I’m not looking just for a fun time, I’m looking for a long term relationship. I mean, I’m dating other people and I’m not saying we have to be serious, but generally speaking I’m ready to…

My imaginary boyfriend is Nathan Fillion. He is perfect in all sorts of ways.

Dating is an absolute mindfuck.

This is terrifying. You have an open invitation to come hide out at my house. I live in Canada. I have wine and Trump is not vying to run my country.