Dear Ms./Mrs/Mr/Whatever Prefix Suits Your Fancy/ Merlan,

Lets do the BEST OF MEDIAITE CONCHA. ALL THE REST OF U MEDIAMATTERS WANNABEES SUCK IMHO

WHERE HAVE I FUCKING BEEN???

Aww, I'll hide it in the yard so it can get cold and congealed, he'll be so happy!

The tragedy of Christmas with my dog is that he is infinitely more excited about Jack-in-the-Box wrappers he finds in the street than anything I could buy him at Petsmart.

So much better than CATS - they rip it open, remove the gift, and sit in the box.

Yeah, I have $150 in checking to last me until the 1st. Dov can kiss my shiny butt.

THANK YOU. I was seriously afraid for a little while that no one was going to make a character stat joke!

tl;dr, I'll just wear my Headband of Alluring Charisma +2

That they're comparing Iggy's (supposed) sex tape to Bill Cosby drugging and raping multiple women over decades is appalling.

I like this "whatever, I do what I want" Obama. He so clearly doesn't give a shit anymore, in the best of ways.

Did you go out with the asshole boyfriend from 10 Things I Hate About You?

I created a burner account because this story is so mortifying. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, then marriage for over 20 years. No matter how I toiled and sacrificed, nothing was ever good enough, including gifts. Circumstances conspired so that I ended up jobless before a Christmas some years ago,…

My best Christmas gift, was when a guy I knew, who had no close family of his own, had me stay with him. I stayed in his house until after New Years. I got to see snow, and build a snowman for the first time. He took me ice skating for the first time. He then gave me something off my bucket list, a kiss in the snow.

My worst Christmas memory also includes my grandmother...the very last one she was alive for. My father and I drove through a blizzard to pick her up and bring her to our house as she had cried that she couldn't be alone on Christmas. We get back to our house and are opening presents. I hand her one and as she takes…

Ohh, yah, my grandma went through a phase of painting confusing things on other confusing things. She painted us sweatshirts and calendars and the like with an image that I think was supposed to be a couple of little Native American girls, but they were all wonky and looked more like ghosts from Korean horror movies.…

My idiot husband informed his mother that we had been thinking of having another child (like not immediately, just that we could possibly not be one and done).

Rocks with kittens painted on them - My aunt always gave us handmade gifts, which was pretty sweet of her, but what is a child going to do with kitten painted rocks, I ask?

There's always money in the banana stand, too.