I'm sorry, someone had a $20,000 10th birthday party? Geez, I thought getting an American Girl doll for your 10th birthday meant that your parents were going all out.

My kid is turning 5 this weekend. She gets cake and a piñata, plus 4 hours to run amok with her friends. That's pretty awesome! Fuck any further effort.

Just here to say I'm sorry all of that happened to you. Hope you are in a better place now.

Yo, Tori, I have a literal streak of gray from my last year and a half. It started on the worst day of my life. I'm sure your life is stressful and all but talk to me about grays after you've found your husband dead in the pool and dragged him out, lost your home, lost your grandma, two friends, two cats, a dog and…

Burt you are clearly projecting this illness upon yourself. Have you asked the universe to focus the orgone rays from the artisanal crystal pyramids that Willow and Jaden Smith have curated into your consciousness?

oh god, i WOULD be the first comment on a pot-article.

I acknowledge this, and I acknowledged it. I have never, not ever refused to acknowledge the male privilege I was granted. As I said before, privilege is privilege, even if it is unwanted, and even if it comes at the intersection of lacking a different privilege (cisgender privilege). My lack of cisgender privilege is…

I am beyond glad that I never had to be 14 and deal with a 40 year old making suggestive comments.

I'm white, I was born in a home birth with midwives, and I am deeply offended by the tone of this piece. (Oh wait, just kidding, I can take a fucking joke.) Jesus, all these thin-skinned white commenters are making all of us look bad.

"Cops keep shooting me. What to do?"

The whitest question of all time happened when someone wrote to the Ethicist asking whether it was ethical to inform Koko the gorilla of Robin Williams' death. Keep in mind that Koko learned about Robin Williams at the same time all that shit was happening in Ferguson, so you can fully understand what a pile of white…

Help! My neighbor's Wi-Fi network name is "BasicBae"!

I presume they were driving around solving crimes? (Side-note: totally a show I would watch.)

• "Help! My Llama Is Getting Skinny-Shamed by a Rare Midwestern Bird"

Punishing the mentally ill isn't very effective. If she doesn't receive treatment for her OCD she'll serve her time/pay the fine and do it all over again.

This list is from the first quarter of 2014. The updated 2015 list will include all bags and boxes of various materials. We thank you for your concern.

Team Cat Headquarters here;

I'll take like 5. I need more unconditional live in my life and also I've had one for years and she's really been no more complicated to take care of than a houseplant. Just feed, water and clean up after