Fixed it.

This guy is going to kill someone someday. Heaven help anyone in front of him in line who gets the last cookie or movie ticket.

"she wouldn't work" = she can't take a rape joke.

He has a point. And I'm sure he would agree with me when I say that I've never met a white man that wasn't racist, therefore all white men are racist. Right?

Sloth.

SHORTS ARE COOL!

I find many men look good in shorts.

I care!!!

In fact, if you're going to go short, go really short.

I used to play bass for Depraved Heart Murder.

GREATEST THREAD GOOD JOB GUYS!!!

Oof! Try not to catch on fire or disappear into the earth while I deal with this thing, okay?

Theoretically, but I don't think they exist.

I haven't really thought about this before but is a capybara like the real-life version of an R.O.U.S.?

There is a real problem with attitudes to teenage and almost teenage girls, when they are obviously a child abuse is considered a terrible crime but get past a certain height or cup size and people assume that she's old beyond her years and any sexual activity is consensual and weren't women married at that age in the…

well, you were the best of the bunch but you still look pretty shitty.

I don't understand how they go from "WOO HOO YOU WIN" to "...but maaaaaybe your boobs aren't quite right." Um, how about choose a different winner, then? Because of course these things are judged on wholly objective and quantifiable qualities, right?

That's how my mom uses them. "Emma, you'll never believe it. I just heard the most interesting study on NPR about how 64 percent of girls your age have graduated from law school and are starting families with a nice Jewish boy."