This could be why...

Let's average out our ages and then we'll both be semi fuckable. I'll sacrifice some of my fuckability for you, Rebecca. That's how much I care.

My son walked in on me peeing one day and later asked me, "Why are vaginas hairy like caterpillars?".

I was SO BEFUDDLED by the extreme gender division in the baby clothes department. A six-month-old is a six-month-old. Give me something with some damn ducks on it.

Kudos to Lands End. On a related note, I've been struggling to find baby boy clothes that don't all have footballs or cars or baseballs on them. Why does a newborn need to wear a "MVP" onesie? Or a onesie that looks like a business suit, complete with a tie? Can't a baby be a baby for 30 seconds before we start…

lol silly pluto you're not a planet

Even on my job's worst day, I can console myself with the fact that at least my job doesn't involve me staring at pictures of people's knees and trying to match their vague shadows to works of art.

Poop people, meet your upstairs neighbors.

Oh dear god. Disgusting marketing aside, a few months ago I bought and took some Ducolax for pregnancy-induced constipation (what with the behbeh stealin' all my foods and all).

I honestly think being modest vs. being more flamboyant/exhibitionist with one's body is at least partially a personality thing. My mom says she could tell I was more of a lil wannabe nudist growing up & that still holds true today, whereas my cousin was extremely private even as a toddler & is still that way as an…

You women have it so easy. Draw something on. I had to torture Ken with needles and pins before I could attach his penis. It was a general anesthesia procedure. Then it fell off.

"Vagina hat" is forevermore what I shall call pubes. It would also be a good band name.

Weird to the average American? Maybe. Weird in terms of how it affected him? Not at all. A nonchalant approach to nudity & body parts is absolutely the best way to go IMO, he's not carrying around weird guilt just for having a human body that is inevitably naked sometimes the way sooooo many other people in our…

Precisely. My little cousin got in a bunch of trouble once because her parents found out she'd been watching porn. All I could think was that she was 12, curious about her body, and wanted to know more. Such a missed opportunity to explain why porn isn't appropriate for her just yet, but that there are other sources…

Kids love dolls that have bodily functions.

Nuh-uh. Seeing your first real-life boner is jarring. Seeing a penis on a baby doll (or naked statue or actual baby or whatever) is no big deal unless your parents make it a big deal.

Wow. I never really thought about this! But if we have this:

I remember seeing my cat's penis for the first time and thinking he had a worm crawling out of his ass. As I got closer to pull it out my wife warned me that was in fact his dick and she basically saved my life. Eternally grateful.

Sorry, but that's not on us. We didn't give you Justin Bieber. You took him. We just didn't put up a fuss.