I'm hedging my bets and give my cats half and half: Wet food twice a day and dry always available. The vet seems pleased.

My older cat was this kind of mentor, guiding the kitten to the best sleep spots and letting him know it was time to eat. He would also mete out punishment in the form of extended forced grooming. Now the kitten outweighs him by two pounds though, so the grooming is purely voluntary.

It's the sensual lips.

So let's game this out: Spidy has morning wood. Which means he either maintained it while getting ready for the day, putting on his costume, drinking his coffee, and leaving the house. Or he slept in his costume. Neither one seems very realistic to me.

Hard nipples are often a side effect of being cold or exposed. Nipples are not intrinsically sexual body parts necessarily. Even a penis or a pudenda are not necessarily sexual just by being depicted in their un-engorged state. But an erect penis is fairly unequivocal.

Why not stand on your head and watch some porn? Go ahead, we'll wait.

I first read The Westing Game in fifth grade (31 years ago), and I re-read it with my son last year. Totally holds up. There is a diversity of characters in race and gender and physical ability, everyone has hidden motivations, plus there are puzzles to solve, and a mad bomber. So good.

I just had a very vivid daydream of talking to a Republican congressman who sponsored the rape insurance bill. In this fantasy he proudly describes his bill and then I vomit all over him, wipe the corner of my mouth and walk away without apology.

Okay. First of all: No oil-based lubricants or creams ever for vaginal sex! They not only can throw off your internal pH, but they will break down latex condoms. That may have led to some of your breakage issues.

It is nearly impossible for me to cover my cleavage except with expensive tailored clothes (I have a some but not enough for all week), or with a turtleneck. I've got big boobs. If you can't be professional enough to ignore them, that is YOUR problem, not mine. Boobs are part of life. Personally, I don't find boobs to…

Considering that Tim Gunn's picture is in the dictionary next to the word impeccable, I think that having him call you impeccable is certainly a huge life win. Also: look at his hair! There is literally not a single strand out of place. Truly impeccable. So perfect that I thought it was photoshopped.

"I eat meat and have leather clothes and basically participated to this speciesist cruel economy all my life and probably will till I die but…but…. PETA KILLED SOME DOGS IN SHELTERS!!! boohoo."

Where did you get the idea that PETA's agenda is "killing animals is absolutely useless"? PETA kills LOTS of animals. Their primary goal is to end the "enslavement" of animals: They don't believe that animals should be used in any way, including as pets, livestock, or entertainment. I could get behind some of those…

I don't feel like it's so much that it "should" be beyond exploitative merchandising. Just that doing it on such a scale seems both antithetical to the premise of a take-down of gross consumerism and just a weird choice in general. I think an "amusement" park may be about scaring you as much as having fun, but to base…

I love practicality! I would be pissed if a guy proposed to me with a diamond ring because a) he would clearly not know me well to think I liked diamonds and b) it would be totally impractical for me. Unless I thought I was going to be trapped in a glass prison with no means for breaking the glass without weakening it…

Maybe one, maybe two. It depends on whether you count the guy who stopped me on the street to tell me I was beautiful. He might have just been having a manic episode.

I guess the downside of having parents and grandparents who didn't go in for rings is that there are none to inherit. But my mom has some awesome necklaces and beadwork that she wears to powwows and ceremonies, so I'm sure I'll get some of that. Hopefully not for a really long time though.

It was Ariel.

If it makes you feel better, fewer than three people have hit on me in the ten years since I stopped wearing it.

No need for shame! Unless it's for eating Doritos, the devil's own snack chip. I can't eat them because lactose powder and dedicated evil.