I've never been to this place, but I remember my grandma taking me to a garden at a wastewater treatment plant when I was a kid in Hawai'i. It was pretty and had a pond with water so clean you could drink it. Which we did. Don't knock a wastewater treatment plant until you've tried one.

As a mom, my belief is that if I'm taken for granted, it's because my child's needs have all been fulfilled regularly. A baby is only grateful for something that it feels is absent.

Stephen Fry + Harry Potter = win. You win!

Happiness is not dependent on other people, and 30 is young. I have friends who found the love of their lives in their late 30's, late 40's, and happiness alone in their at many ages, even their 60's. In my opinion it is better to pursue the things that you want on your own than to tie yourself to someone and resent…

When I worked at Victoria's Secret in the early 90's, Tori Amos and a friend came into the perfumery to shop. I didn't recognize her at first and said, "You look really familiar." She said, "Oh, I look like everyone's sister."

When you get to the end of a level/challenge/quest and realize that you're either not leveled up enough or don't have enough ammo/weapons to fight the boss.

Not everyone gets to have kids. A friend who went through IVF only to find out that she had endometriosis got a dog to help her cope with the pain. She couldn't transfer all of the those nurturing urges to the dog, but I think it has helped a lot. I refuse to judge anyone who uses a pet to work out issues related to…

One of my high school teachers was still rocking the late 60's pageboy in the late 80's. Plus the mandatory sweater-vest and a silver chain necklace. If he's still alive he's probably in his late 70's now. It's doubtful that he still has enough hair for that hairstyle.

The lying test regarding developmental age is probably generally true, but not always. My niece is brilliant and started lying/telling creative stories pretty much as soon as she could talk. When she was four she convinced my brother that her class had gone on a fishing trip that day. She literally told him a fish…

How random are we talking? My rates would definitely vary depending on the personal hygiene and vibes of said rando. I have had plenty of semi-random free sex with strangers, but they were all pre-vetted over coffee/kung-fu movies.

Sometimes that's the only bottom that works.

That is truly beautiful.

Wasn't that sort of what the "Sex" book in 1992 was? Except it was crappy erotica that she wrote and someone else took the photos.

It is almost disappointing being this awesome. Almost.

I can provide a detailed list of instructions if you like. I was thinking about doing an AMA about getting freaky on Craigslist on GT, but here are some basics:

I remember the summer that I bought her cassette and played it over and over and over. That was a very emo summer.

Spend a week on Degobah and looking for some strange you will be.

It's still a worthwhile point to make though. My friend's mom nearly killed herself trying to do a "natural" home abortion. It failed and left her very ill. My friend was a young teen and had to care for her pregnant mom and all of her younger siblings during the whole ordeal. Desperate people may latch onto anything…

"Ooh, give it to me in the Pin Five, baby!"

James Franco and Lindsey Lohan may just define "sex" differently. Like maybe it's only PinV for him, whereas for her it could include erotic massage or fever dreams.