1. A frisk is for concealed weapons. What could she be concealing on her naked skin?

If there is some kind of licensing board in your state, he should report that she's a racist. I don't know if that is actionable, but at least it would be in her permanent record.

Same here in Colorado. I don't know how much my nurse-midwife cost, but I can almost guarantee that it was less than a doctor, and she spent way more time with me than people tell me their doctors did.

I wonder if it would be legal to us campaign money to have people work in soup kitchens and carry out other kinds of public service, rather than spending money on airtime. Maybe they could wear a campaign T-shirt while doing it. I guarantee you that (assuming it is legal) the first candidate to do that will get a lot…

Yes. They're going to a reptile preserve to wrestle gators. Hopefully no one loses an arm, because I think that would require some special alterations to the wedding gear.

Every time I look at the bride, I see Christina Ricci with a tan.

Only if you use the dye water to water your garden afterwards. Otherwise it's a waste of good water.

My friend's brother is getting married this summer but didn't want anything sleazy. So my friend has planned the festivities to start with alligator wrestling and end with swanky booze and possibly cigars. Also their sister is coming along, because she's cool and they want her there. I can't wait to see the pictures.

His parents would have to pay the taxes unless his money was going into a trust, in which case the trust would be responsible for the taxes (or him once he takes possession of the trust). Disclaimer: I haven't worked with tax-related stuff in about 10 years.

Maybe change Dirt Bag so that instead of covering headlines associated with celebrities, it covers actual dirt bags online.

Now I'm off to make a custom t-shirt. You don't mind if I steal these, right?

I can dig it. Yesterday, no matter where I went, David Tennant would not stop touching my chest. It was just a t-shirt, but still: obscene.

I only believe in what I can see, and since I can't see Brooklyn from here, I already didn't believe in the BQE. This only reinforces my disbelief.

That sounds like exactly the sort of thing that she would actually do as part of an art installation.

I used to have a dishwasher, but I divorced him and now I have to wash the dishes myself.

I love when other people hate Cyclops as much as I do.

I am not a lawyer but I believe that he would still be required to provide child support, as that is not dependent upon marriage, just parentage. Alimony and other benefits are for spouses. They could possibly make a case for palimony or promise of support, but they would have to sue him for those things, and I don't…

When I was a kid my favorite old-person thing was not so much the smell (though that was nice too), but the soft, wrinkly wattles of flesh that hung off of my great-grandmother's upper arms. I thought they were like huge flower petals. I liked to give her hugs so that I could brush against them.

Probably because she perpetrated said shit.

Paul Suda from Full Metal Jousting wants to be Finnick. You can decide what you think from his video: