I have two kids and I’ve had to sit through Kobe’s last game for the past two hours so I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine. The two aren’t connected but #1 gives me a right to have an opinion on this and #2 explains my attitude.

Failure to launch

Now this child is going to grow up and never come out of her room because they let her stay in as long as she likes. Terrible parenting.

When I was 26 I was just really focused on my drinking.

Fine. It’s close enough to atheism for me.

neither of us can feel a thing... it’s too “wet” but not the right kind of “wet”.

Right? Make them take a mystery pill 3 times a day. Could be placebo. Could be a laxative. Could be an Ambien. Could be an emetic....

That’s just rude.

that’s so rude! FLUSH IT

PERIOD SHITS ARE THE WORST.

Period blood is only part of the whole period experience. Were they forced to use stool softeners to get period shits? What about a cramp machine? What about having to pass blood clots?

I would lay face down in the dirt and thank the almighty if the worst thing about having a period is bleeding through clothes, pads, and tampons. This experiment does nothing to share women’s experiences because what’s missing is the extreme pain (for years I would black out, faint, be susceptible to a raging fever,…

For true accuracy, they should have had someone sneak up on the guys unexpectedly a few times a day to pummel them in the stomach.

Despite his comments about at least two of his daughters (Tiffany here, the comments about Ivanka saying “If she weren’t my daughter...”), I actually don’t think he wants to have sex with his own children. Rather, I think he believes that the highest compliment you can give a woman is to call her fuckable. Which leads…

Well researched and cited! To the black with you!

At Versailles basically you used one of the nearly 300 “close stools” (a furniture seat that contained a chamber pot) at the palace. Some of these were placed in rooms or antechambers of their own, others were brought to you in your own room by servants, and taken away when you were finished. Of course, visitors to…

Conversely, I haven’t changed my mind about Wendy Williams

My poor son just picked the wrongest time ever to ask me if I was doing something...

J. Lo is perfect.