Almost

Isaiah Thomas: I’ll take... the red suit! That looks sharp as hell.

It’s fortunate Wagner heard the Kevin Hart interview instead of the Katt Williams one, since I don’t think him getting his ass beat by a middle schooler would have made this situation any better.

This anecdote sure does not make it seem like hordes of European clubs were clamoring to sign LiAngelo and LaMelo!

Sure, he’s muscular now, but I challenge you to find one picture of Tim during his playing career where he’s not ripped.

+1

Looks like Herm’s recruiting has already gone to shit.

Kim Jong-un Is Having Fun And The Rockets Are Destroying Everyone

Step 1: Find a very thick glove

No one plans to get “knocked up.” You’re either making a conscious attempt to get pregnant, or someone knocked you up.

This guy needs to quit complaining. I can think of nine reindeer that would kill for a parachute that worked that well.

At the very least he will be physically closer to the movie theaters he loves.

Jesus Christ. I don’t think any of us were expecting John Clayton to get in this kind of trouble.

Okay, fine, I’ll put it away, but first you’re gonna have to explain to me how pretentious music reviews were supposed to help this situation in the first place.

“Crazy Russian Lady”??? What kind of way is that to refer to Karren Brady?

I too can identify with these dudes, as I’m also not allowed to have unsupervised visits with my children.

NARRATOR: And here’s Thomas doing some jumps... And hanging out with his friends I guess. It’s like skateboarding or some shit. Fucking hell, this is boring. Do I still have to be here?

PICTURED: Soccer Jesus with Sunil Gulati

To make matters even worse, it turns out Rose’s recently turned-in “What I Did During My Vacation” essay was plagiarized.

Props to Joe Flacco for finding the one way to imitate Jameis Winston without getting himself banned from Uber.