The Spaniard is also an accomplished skier and ultramarathoner, with record-setting victories at several prominent races such as Western States and the Hardrock 100.

Tom Brady: Now a Confused Dog.

Oh, come on now. Driving around the Atlanta area can’t be that bad.

By far, the worst Jeter moment I can think of is when the Yanks blew the 3-0 lead against Boston in 2004. It was so bad it gave my die-hard Yankee fan grandmother a 2troke.

I mean, it’s not really abuse from Ivy Leaguers if it comes from people who go to Cornell.

Seems a little weird to suspend someone for continuously taking mirrors off of bathroom walls, but what do I know.

but he is chiefly famous for his speed records.

I actually think this is a great way to relate to the common wrestling fan, who is also married to his thirteen-year-old cousin.

“Can I interest you ladies in some hot dogs? Or, barring that, a Pig in a Jersey?”

He is survived by... damn, who is he survived by at this point?

sorry blud

QB Bryce Petty [NOT EVEN GONNA TOUCH THIS ONE]:

Maybe Eli phrased it like that to distinguish from the bicycle helmets he wears in day-to-day life.

After coming to, the player went to practice for some reason.

but maybe I’m setting myself up to have my job replaced by an algorithm picking just the right GIF of a cartoon goat in overalls that dances when a celebrity accepts a kid’s promposal, or frowns and crosses its arms when an athlete gets charged with a sex crime.

Hold on a second, dude. Why was there an onion tied to your belt again?

Does this have anything to do with his arrest in Alabama for corruption earlier today?

If this doesn’t work for him, he could always just say his pants were on fire.

To be fair, Sport Recife were watching replays.

If he was Polish he wouldn’t be a junior in high school yet.