how dare you. on 4/20 no less

+1

The sex and sports areas of LVG’s brain are apparently mighty close.

Please God, make sure those pauses aren’t pregnant.

No way that bike race is in Brooklyn. All the riders’ bike wheels are the same size.

[Crosses fingers]

Not gonna lie, it’s kind of weird that when you guys don’t want to work, you hang out in the Deadspin comments section too. Shouldn’t you be hanging out in a warehouse or office park or something instead?

Be careful who sees you doing drugs. Wear a nice identity-obscuring mask when you do the drugs. Go into a dark pantry when you do the drugs. Do the drugs before you hang out with people, because people are rats, and even when they aren’t, their phones might get compromised. Don’t do the drugs.

Chin up, St. Louis. At least your football team will go undefeated this season.

Holy shit

Man, one more stick and he could have gotten himself the Phineas Gage hat trick.

As a warning, the video’s pretty gross:

what’s up basketball, I’m dad

Samer: Well, that about settles it! Anything you want to add before we leave, Harry?
Harry: When’s my dad coming back?
Samer: Look man, we’ve been over this. A.J. doesn’t work here anymore.

“And I’m like- hell yeah! My oven is old as hell, and this guy seems to just want to give away his Dutch model for nothing!”

“...so I say to DeMaurice, ‘Hey, who the fuck let you out of the supply shed anyway???’”

fwiw this bird was directed at @bracehemmelgarn , who has an extensive collection of my middle finger

Ha!

I tried, but the other guy got uncomfortable.

Paul broke a bone in his hand and will officially be out for four to six weeks after surgery,