Hopefully Gudas gets another call today.

The guy started the video thinking he was Ronaldinho, but by the end he ended up feeling like a Ronaldinho’s ass.

Police reportedly made an arrest, but wouldn’t name the man arrested. Whoever it is, he has to appear in court on May 10.

Ha!

boy, you really socked it to me, didn’t you

And what do you know! Another dick post just showed up!

I could ignite Deadspin’s audience by typing “tits” 300 times and hitting the publish button.

Considering it’s Maryland, we should probably just be thankful they’re no longer using eight-balls.

Never let anyone tell you being famous doesn’t have its benefits.

Well, that’s about as definitive a statement as it gets. He even signed it and everything.

To be fair to these two, Kentucky politicians have been talking recently about defunding Planned Parenthood.

Well, at least it’s not the worst thing to fall out of a Bengal’s pickup truck.

MOM: I just can’t believe how proud I am of Matt, and how happy it makes me feel to see him so... oh, it’s been disallowed? Fuck him then.

What did you expect, Samer? Pizza is Italian.

Lol, you don’t even introduce yourself before demanding stuff of me. Chill the fuck out.

This seems like a metaphor for what Grayson’s dad did to Ben Carson in Iowa.

It’s really good that Rivera has Cam’s back here, as on Sunday Michael Oher certainly didn’t.

Look, like it or not, television is in part a visual medium. If the marketplace for sports news demands young, attractive presenters, then Fox executives would be nothing short of negligent if OH MY FUCKING GOD IS THAT REALLY WHAT JASON WHITLOCK LOOKS LIKE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Must suck to work for a company that’s laying a ton of people off. Bet O’Toole wishes he worked at ESPN instead.

Ha!