Freedom of speech means that I can say whatever I want without people thinking that I’m an asshole

I mean, this is kinda funny, but it’s also pretty unfocused. It’s not even relevant to the article.

Have I recced any of your jokes before? I’m struggling to remember. Maybe you can help me out.

You’re welcome, guy who’s recced dozens of my jokes already.

This sounds like a really fun trolling tactic, and I would have loved to take part in it myself if Cam Newton hadn’t stolen my laptop.

Instead, the Skins will continue to stash Griffin third on their depth chart, release him after the season, and see someone sign him for peanuts.

Ha!

Look, I try not to pass judgments on cops, who have a difficult job and sometimes get shafted trying to perform it. But a lack of professionalism is a lack of professionalism, and I’d really like to know why this one particular officer felt the need to curse so much in the police report.

9.

Child: Oh cool, are you a minion?

Before we start talking about what a great teammate Staley is, just remember: there’s no way he would have had his quarterback’s back if Kaepernick was left-handed.

Ha!

Knowing JPP’s talent, I’m sure getting those sacks will be a hell of a lot easier than counting them.

They are, Kyle, and now I am too.

Cain, who is one of the Royals’ most dangerous hitters and who had never attempted a sacrifice bunt before last night, admitted after the game that it was his idea to take two shots at a bunt before striking out on the third pitch:

After this, we can only assume that Johnson will go back to battling children.

Sure, half a pound of weed and a gun sounds bad, but Rice Jr. probably won’t get in any trouble for this, especially since his stepmom used to be the governor of Alaska.

I guess to prove that they’re qualified for this particular job, all these candidates are running under their aliases.

Football fans streamed over 460 million total minutes of the game across devices.