+1

Milford used to care a lot more about the results of their games, but they’ve resigned themselves to just having fun out there ever since star player Danny Woodhead was kicked off the team.

+1

Sabathia: [drinks brown liquid out of paper cup]

Eh, Philadelphians just love to steal and beat the shit out of trash. Just ask HitchBOT.

Maybe we should call you Layup Donuts instead!!1!1

This nine-minute video—which feels so much shorter than that

To be fair, it’d be cruel to make Buffalo fans snort their coke off a mirror.

Now there are nine sides in an octagon, if you include the baked beans.

See, this is why no one should ever feel ashamed about throwing in the towel.

Ha!

We can’t feel too bad for this Argentine soccer fan who, apparently in an effort to see if he really was Superman, lept (fell?) from the top of the stadium’s wire fence.

In true Nationals fashion, upper management plans on sending him back to the dugout next year until mid-May.

And boy were those strides effective, huh?

I guess it’s kind of a sign of progress that the 21st century version of LBJ is a lot less bloodthirsty than the 20th century one.

In a way, he’s sort of like Schrodinger’s horse.

Lefebvre’s broadcasting partner’s delight was quickly turned to paranoia when Ryan began lamenting how little time they had left together.

Late, but +1

Ha!

ASU SORORITY GIRL: Okay, girls! Say “Cheese!” on three!