What are you doing, sir

If only Martin understood the first rule of nicknames: Repeatedly calling attention to the nickname you hate will only make people want to use it more.

Geez, I hope you’re still allowed to discuss burgers Joey.

It’s pretty straightforward.

The weird thing is, if the Yankees had shown just a little professionalism themselves, they probably wouldn’t have lost 15-1.

Even now at times, I feel he gets too leaden-footed.

You guys are forgetting the obvious here. What about Drew Bledsoe?

Maybe Curt just finds the idea of a profit inherently funny.

I really like the Patriot Federation’s logo in the first picture. Finally, two old allies once again reunited for a good cause.

The doctor must have had a lot of trouble treating Curt’s mouth cancer, what with his foot constantly being in the way.

Stare at that screenshot at the top of the page and try not to smile, I dare you.

“Seriously, you guys,” Kelly pleaded obnoxiously, without a hint of his own inherent privilege. “All hits matter.”

The Yelp page of Cincinnati Italian trattoria Sotto boasts that it’s a restaurant for “casual intimacy and communal romance,” so it makes sense that Drake and Serena Williams were spotted at a table essentially fucking with their clothes on.

You’re a good artist.

It was hard for me for about two years, because one doctor told me I could wake up any morning and it might come back. So you wake up every day thinking, Today’s the day! Then it’s not.

Sapp is probably not who the NFL wants modeling behavior for rookies, since he was recently charged with domestic violence.

+1

“Marry, Sex, Kill” sounds less like a silly game and more like Scott Peterson’s MO.

Ha!

If there are any NFL employees reading this, please let us know if Goodell’s using our creation to issue suspensions. We guarantee anonymity.