Man, I was so much funnier when I was unemployed.

Ha!

+1

Guess his front teeth must have happened in Las Vegas.

I just feel bad for his wife, who was forced to listen to 17 terrible jokes the next day.

+1

If you’re an NBA player with a cat, or if you are an NBA player’s cat, make yourself known.

Catches like this should really help the Chicago Wildfire stay at the top of a division that includes such powerhouses as the New Orleans Hurricanes, the San Francisco Earthquakes and the South Carolina South Carolinians.

Ha!

TMZ said Diddy was initially held in campus jail, which is just a wonderful sentence.

Timely comment, bud

Ha!

That’s weird. Usually a minor’s ransom note comes with a little finger attached.

God, I can’t wait to see Joel Embiid play in these jerseys in six years.

[Repeatedly tries and fails to pronounce pinch-runner’s name]

Well, did he win?

Benson’s family argued that he was mentally feeble, and that Gayle’s manipulations were responsible for the alterations to his will.

If you think that’s embarrassing, you should have seen what happened to this poor guy when he went to the dry cleaners.

Manager: Why didn’t you just try UPS?

Still a hell of a lot less racist than the one they held in St. Louis.