You like being advertised to, for free? I pity your sorry ass.

It still baffles me that grown men watch this crap. Is it accurate to call this the male equivalent of a soap opera?

His win total is equal to the number of Cubs fans who can spell his name correctly. And don't even ask them to spell his last name either!!

This is a fascinating dispute involving an organization with almost insurmountable barriers to entry, run by rich people who won't hesitate to shut everything down if they don't get their way, misuse public funds, deliberately obfuscate or delay solutions to improve health and safety, and employ an army of public…

There are numerous white people in the crowd. They remain seated.

Not bad, but my favourite Alley Oops is still when Kirstie was bobbing for apples in a tub of ranch and dropped her phone.

Eh. Still better than Prometheus.

"Here's your problem. See this support column? Looks like it was designed by a guy who learned calculus at a school which spent its money on a football stadium instead of a decent teacher."

In Praise Of Sugar: The Kirstie Alley Story

I like to think extroverts have Attention Dependency Disorder.

Weddings are the worst for lots of strangers, but I really can't think of anything I HAVE to be at, besides work. My family has more or less accepted that I don't enjoy gatherings. I've said that if I won the lottery, I wouldn't leave the house very often. You can get most things delivered, thanks to the Internet.

You completely missed just murdering each and every one of them.

I don't have a problem with houses exploding per se, but on live television? What am I supposed to tell my kids?

Leaked Internal Scouting Report: Wow These Nerds Love Merit Badges

I don't remember the last time I hated a commercial so much.

Are we sure those are Browns fans, and not just the actual guys?

Namath: "What are you doing, sneaking bologna in your jacket like that? Are you 8 years old? Why didn't you get something... good?"

♫ My bologna has a first name

Even if a thousand people like it, it's still unfunny shit. His whole shtick, all this time, has been "Oh this isn't practical". We know it's not practical. Pointing it out to us won't really change that.

Nice to see this Pete Holmes guy still doesn't know the difference between what's funny, and what's annoying. Do people actually watch this crap, or is someone at Kotaku getting paid to push this stuff?