And here I was hoping for a re-adaptation of the Thomas Berger novel. Oh well.

Between this and Space Jam 2, shitty '90s entertainment lives again!

Haha, silly Greeks always getting things backwards. Usually you go down before taking a Squirt to the face.

Look, Mr. Blackwell, we all agree that de la Renta's red carpet offerings were less than stellar this year, but this seems particularly vitriolic.

Found 'em.

"In the hole!!!"

Leave it to a guy that owns a lot of truck stop bathrooms to open yet another browns facility with quotes written all over the walls.

I would just like to say that Jim Cooke has consistently delivered top-shelf work for this series of articles. Excellent work.

How many appearances on The Tonight Show did it take for your constitution to withstand the cloud of rum farts that would whoosh out of Ed McMahon's seat cushion when you first sat down?

Awesome. Thanks for the answer, Kreskin!

One other way is to just make another baseball game.

Well put.

At what time should I start roasting my 22-pound turkey if I plan to give my extended family of 8 adults and 2 children the bum's rush by 3 p.m. so that I can be at Wal-Mart by 4 p.m. for "Black Thursday" shopping at 8 p.m.? Let's assume an eating window of 20 minutes, because there's no way those bastards are going…

Yes.

The lead engineer for the second phase of the project, pictured here, was not available for comment.

Well, he does call himself the fapmaster, so breeding is most likely out of the equation anyways.

+1

R2-DD2

Leave the poor guy alone. That's one of the few reasonable costume choices for dual sufferers of Vestigial Penis Head and Fox Nose Belly.