I feel the same way. I mean, who does an action movie that has nothing to do with its namesake appeal to, exactly? Why not just call it "Boats Vs. Aliens"? It'd still sell a shit-ton of tickets, and it wouldn't unnecessarily drag in an existing IP. Then, if Hasbro wants to come in to make its filthy lucre with…

When asked how exactly he thought he was going to get away with it, the perpetrator pointed out that the same prank had gone unnoticed when Dwyer played against invitational teams from New York City.

In case anybody is interested, the identity of Songster is bassist and vocalist Doug Howard, member of the early '80s band Touch. Here's one of their songs (which I remember hearing as a kid, usually mistaking it for a song by Styx). Enjoy!

Like any true Patriot, he was just making sure he'd be flying at full mast.

It's also understood that he's only being brought in for his profound knowledge of John 13.

The only thing I've learned from this article is that the graphic artists at Hostess are obviously big fans of Dr. Strangelove.

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For a movie that has essentially been in development hell since 1931 (a short list of people who have had a swing at this includes Bob Clampett, Ray Harryhausen, John McTiernan, Robert Rodriguez), it is kind of disappointing to find out that the end result of 80 years of labor is a stillbirth from James Cameron's…

This is good news for a drug-conscious league like the NFL to not have its players portrayed as being motivated by some kid pushing buttons.

I have no idea why rhyming books are more fun, but they are.

Five Months After Horrific Göring, Reichstag Is Rebuilt

This is a reboot of the franchise. The monkeys have been replaced by boobs, and Matthew Broderick has been replaced by the pool party scene in Real Genius.

So that everything looks right-side-up when you take that trip to China, that's why.

Finally! The classy lighting option to complement that classy shower fixture.

Holy Moly Expectations Are Lowly In Washington

This genius's next experiment will involve testing the hermetic qualities of various plastic bags by sealing them around his head.

....hopping in the two-man sled .... fur-lined parka .... complete lack of training.

Kremlins II: The New Botch

Huh. I had him pegged as more of a bowl smoker.

It's a miscarriage of justice that due to all of this extra free time Sandusky has been given, we may never learn the true identity of Biscuits.