Pictured: Exactly how Eli looks when the Subway Sandwich Artist® asks him "6-inch or footlong?".

This wouldn't have happened had the Broncos made it. Tim Tebow is utterly unable to promote the pleasures of sheepskin.

Pictured: Craig James struggling to court the Houston Japanese-American vote with his "Tune in Tokyo" routine.

It's good to see that the Sun-Times doesn't pussyfoot around the hard news angles.

Not to be outdone, Fox NFL Sunday host Curt Menefee will be interviewing co-host Terry Bradshaw, sponsored by Geico.

It's a shame whenever someone is stricken down in their prime like this. The man had at least 13 more years of denial left in him.

Just think of the branding synergy if Sega decides to port these games to the Wii.

He fist bumped his grandmother.... and told her "Fuck you."

"herpes?"

That "49ers" clarification in the article is actually a typo. What Biden actually said was that the "69ers" was the team that would "go all the way", and gave the crowd a big, knowing wink.

We called the Columbus store, asked for Brian, and had the following exchange:

I can only imagine that this Bruins fan's life is headed for a long, downhill trajectory. Based on the video evidence, I'm also sure that this is a welcome development.

C'mon. The guy specifically asked for Easy Cheese.

Wait, I want to hear the Good Humor Man tell us about his days in Ypres.

Nope. They still look like Ted Turner's watercolors to me.

Randy, Patrick? No, Mel Showers!

"Had she lived into old age, Selena might have grown one of these on her upper lip."

Just have the yearbook editor agree to use the photo, but then crop and enlarge it to a head shot. Problem solved.

You know, the ones about how black people will kill and steal to get the things they want.

Pictured: A Denver fan demonstrates the phenomenon of Meta-Tebowing, where the act of Tebowing is clearly an athletic competition unto itself.