They keep ringing the bell. They keep ringing it over and over again.

Me, I don’t personally think it’s that big of a deal that he can’t have one. I never had a hot tub in my room and it was fine. But I guess he had one for a while and it would suck to get it taken away, so I can sort of see the other side of it too. I dunno, I feel like this is one of those where you can kind of go…

I want to get serious with you all for just one second. I’m a person who went to university in Newfoundland because I was chasing a girl. I’m a person who married my ex-wife after knowing her for six weeks. If Jose Bautista’s bat flip proposed to me right now, we’d have four kids by Christmas.

To be fair, it’d be cruel to make Buffalo fans snort their coke off a mirror.

What’s the over/under on how many Thanksgivings Curt has ruined? He’s 48, so I’m going to put it at 20.

That dude looks like Jonathan Banks playing Colonel Sanders.

I actually really enjoyed the Cardinals’ book. I mean, there’s a lot of senseless violence and it has some questionable things to say about black people, but the prose is spectacular.

Maybe this guy would be more excited about the wave if they had prefaced it with Micro.

This isn’t really unprecedented. Why, the Nazis were known to make lampshades exclusively from Jewish artists.

Anon? Jesus Christ, whatever happened to normal names like John or Michael?

The last straw for me was when they started selling maize dogs at the concession stands.

“Things like, ‘you’re an A-hole’ and ‘you shouldn’t go to work drunk.’”

But John Terry really is a cunt.

♫When your knee’s in my back, and it’s just cuz I’m black /

♫ You just have to comply or the fists start to fly/

This is even more impressive when you realize the officer was unseeded.

“Those bastards in Bristol are ruining everything,” Palin continued. “I’ll be babysitting every weekend ‘til I’m fucking 75 years old at this rate.”

“Now...where was I on the ESPN thing....oh right, Curt Schilling...”

I’m glad someone bespoke up for him.

Oh sure, but it’s totally fine for the Red Sox to freeze their own player?

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: