“We’re going to celebrate his life, not the death and other issues.”

He’s on the record as saying nice things about Puerto Ricans, though. I even heard him say, “There’s no such thing as bad PR.”

1) It is a strawman

“The Aristocrats!”

Chandler: “Could you BE any more of a disappointment?!?!”

The Bucs will only comment once the wounds become infected with MRSA.

At least the burns on his face are healing nicely.

Not even close.

Well, did he win?

I have some hands signed by Moises Alou.

“You’re not following Cardinal Way.”

“Liability tank tops are $5.99!”

PFTCommenter

“Paredes almost got injured!”
[hucks fastball at Bautista’s ribs]

Man wearing a blue uniform: Go Jets go! Woooo!

Idiots! That's California!

[boots up Dell latitude]
[makes a cup of sanka]
[stirs in creamer]
[stirs in a little more creamer]
[sugar too]
[makes mental note on coffee creamer / paula creamer joke]
[sends aol email with "FW: FW: FW:" in the title]
[checks iphone 4]
[texts golfing buddy]
[texts other golfing buddy about attractive spouse]
[looks back at…

"Aaaaaaaaaayyyy!"

"Nope."

[INT. - An Oakland hospital room, March 1985]