His new number is too long to fit on it.

Come on, dude. There's no need to smear the man.

He later got a yellow card for shoving a Liverpool player, but look at the circumstances!

She's just realizing that she'd like to finally try dating a guy taller than she is.

I hope it's mom's job to teach their daughter how to use a tampon.

[Jay Cutler double clicks on Internet Explorer.]

[Genius Bear receives trophy for Deadspin's 2014 Bear of The Year]

On the plus side, he totally completed the trifecta.

At least @MyTweetsRealAF will have the chance to take in Temecula's annual Christmas night police check-point, where he can calmly explain he's just driving around looking to beat the shit out of some dude he's arguing with on Twitter.

But he's only been through two strikes.

Police who arrived on the scene described it as a "riot"

Before everyone jumps on the "durr only in Florida LOLZ!!1!" bandwagon, let's take a second to remember that Florida is full of really, really stupid people.

Keith Law has the science on his side, but you have to give a man of faith like Schilling credit—

Evolving Species? Probably Not

Belichick: Can anyone get that dick Gray for me!?

I think this says more about the underclassmen, who are evidently terrified of black people.

"But it went way too far, and it wasn't very clear that it was a joke, that it was fabricated. If you read it, you might think that it was actually Tiger talking. The whole thing is completely ridiculous."

Looking at those women, one thing's clear: Sanders isn't Muslim.

Oh sure, but when RGIII leaves the game in the first quarter it's perfectly fine.

"His family is beside themselves", in this case, means that the attendance at the game was 4.