By the looks of his eyes, I'm shocked that he's not "Kent Herbek."

Well, Keith, you gotta pick your battles.

It appears these Bills fans went a little wide right on their keypads.

"I still think he's funny."

"The first time I walked past Vince," he said, "there was a part of me that wanted to take him out right then and there. But the thought of me getting into a scrap with him while naked seemed ridiculous."

Schmidt had to cut the interview short as she needed to get back to help planning the school's annual "Miss Cegenation" pageant.

"He's a competitor," one athlete from Armstrong's failed race said.

...know that the role of George will instead be played by David M. Farrington.

ABC

"Abortion, for me," continued Krzyzewski, "It's a lot like saying, 'I'm not going to bother recruiting.'"

Unlike the last guy who went to sleep in the Arrowhead parking lot, this guy's going to wake up.

The one time a Bishop goes against his natural proclivity towards little boys, he suffers.

Not often you see something like this...you know, a woman in bed with a Notre Dame football player under her own volition.

"At least he only yelled it."

Kerley was just responding to being asked what kind of drug would make him think signing a long-term deal with the Jets was a good idea.

When reached for comment, Jesus said that Rhimes's claims were "100 per cent transubstantiated."

When told of the Moroccans' reluctance, Emmitt Smith stated that tambourines would work just as well.

The sad part of this story that hasn't been reported is that, because of all the talk of "Jets" and "missing" in the article, Gary Myers found Wolf Blitzer and a camera crew outside his house this morning.

But, ew, gross, imagine if.

In Buffalo, they don't even bat an eye at shit Bills.