I've been working almost non-stop for the past week and a lot of shit happened personally.

That, or I've never liked children.

To be perfectly honest, even if you give your kid a reasonable name, chances are I will still hate your baby.

"Injuries can occur if you don’t keep your fingers spread.”

To be fair, Tampa Bay sports fans can't be bothered to go to Bucs games because they're too busy not going to Rays and Lightning games.

Meanwhile, there are no cover changes to report on Italian War Heroes.

"You see, the trick is just to avoid it altogether."

"Powerful Corporation, Dick Shaking" was actually Disney's tagline for the last couple of Rockin' New Year's Eves.

"I don't see the problem."

I understand that incidents like this aren't indicative of a fan base as a whole, but they still are a small pox on Chiefs fans.

Oh, sure. That's fine, comrades, but if it's a tube steak...

I guess "Comedians you've never heard of are drunk assholes" is too long for a headline, eh, Dom?

Appropriately, JR posted this using his AT&T phone.

I can tell you from personal experience that being a Leafs fan is pretty much a wank, anyway.

Man, a play like that is a real Sino a bad team.

I think this, along with Tommy Morrison's death over the weekend, really hits home on the importance of proper head protection.

Ke$hitfaced

No. .341%.

"Aaron’s out of his mind," says one friend of the family. "He’s been twisted on dust now for more than a year, which is when all of this crazy shit started."

It's stories like this that show the Rolling Stone staff is sick of being considered a bunch of Dzhokhars by the mainstream media.