Unfortunately, a masterful command of physics doesn’t save you from being a complete dumbass everywhere else.

I’ll bet you’re sad Gawker’s gone so you can’t post the same joke about how Hulk Hogan’s about to PILE DRIVE THE WEBSITE TO THE GROUND!!!! TAKE YOUR VITAMINS AND SAY YOUR PRAYERS, BOY!!!!!! on every single fucking article.

Yep. Could be a confabulation, but I seem to remember Prince saying something in the Milwaukee media about how 52 was “the only number that matters” while chasing his Dad’s highest single-season home run total with the Brewers in 2007, because he wanted to do one better than him; he finished with 50 and there was a…

I’m sure Jack Ma’s ready to give another statement about how knockoffs are so high-quality these days.

IIRC, Democrats used to be associated with the color red until the networks all started getting behind the opposite scheme together in 2000 for whatever reason.

Las Vegas Strippers

Solving the game of basketball with some Silicon Valley know-how! #StephCurryWithTheShotBoy

Yyyyep. I’m still in agency life and I question my decision every day. But hey, I’m getting paid good money to essentially write for a living when all my guidance counselors told me I’d never do it once upon a time, so score one for me, I guess? Does it still count if you want to put a gun to your head/full bottle of…

I landed a decently-paying job at an ad agency (“decent” by present-day-for-people-under-35 standards) a while back and got laid off twenty-four hours before I would’ve qualified for health and dental. Advertising!

DeSagana Diop!

Damn, now I’m having flashbacks to noted sports blog Did The Bobcats Win Last Night? and the dude who wrote it constantly whining about how terrible of a player Bismack Biyombo was.

World B. Free!

The last in-flight airline magazine I read a few weeks ago included a 12-page ad from the Cincinnati Chamber of Commerce about how great Cincinnati was. My favorite part was definitely when they spent a page talking about how “the Bengals and Reds make Cincinnati the place to be for any sports fan”.

Yeah, exactly. The concept of “free speech” extends to people you don’t agree with. Of course, by that same token, “free speech” also means you’re free to call people you don’t agree with pieces of shit. Discussion and debate is the basis of a lively society!

Eli Manning throwing a shit fit when the Chargers drafted him was pretty fun.

Hell, even some of Gingrich’s Presidential campaign’s own statements in 2012 seemed right out of the Trump playbook with a better vocabulary:

Doesn’t shock me that much, at least not as far as the Republican primary’s concerned — white men notice their steep downward demographic trend and are freaking the hell out over it. The same shit happened in California during Pete Wilson’s time as governor and has been happening in Arizona for a while now.

I miss the glory days of the Tim Couch-Kelly Holcomb quarterback controversy.

San Francisco isn’t exactly known for its glut of common sense these days.

Definitely one of my favorite Brands of all time, just ahead of Russell and Coca-Cola.