Now you know better.

The photo you saw could have been of someone else. That's the terrifying thing about cosmetic surgery addiction: the addicts all end up looking like this horrific monstrosity.

It's easy to dismiss Lukyanova as an example of the way the media push women to achieve unrealistic bodies and faces...but she's on a whole other plane. Literally. She claims to teach people "how to leave their physical body and travel in their spiritual body." She's a genuine eccentric. When I saw the photo above, I…

We do what we must in order to survive. For me, that entailed becoming Pauline Phillips.

Thank you. I get them from my mother.

LOL! That's Dear Abby!

Dear Abby!

I just came to check out sorry douche-bags brag about the great SAT scores they got back when they still felt their lives would turn out great and before they realized they would die alone and unloved.

They are a damned photogenic couple, but Cara's family is probably right to worry about the age difference. I was twenty and my first wife was 36 when we met. I thought age meant nothing. At least in our case, it turned out to mean a lot. Took me two decades to screw up the courage to end that unhappy relationship.…

I would blush. In a good way.

Surreal. It's like someone's art project. Very few of them make any sense at all. "thick wife"? "little hairy pussy"? Because "big hairy pussy" or "medium hairy pussy" won't do? "little" in what sense?

Surreal. It's like someone's art project. Very few of them make any sense at all. "thick wife"? "little hairy pussy"? Because "big hairy pussy" or "medium hairy pussy" won't do? "little" in what sense?

More evidence that I am a man in biology only. I just don't get this at all. I hold doors for people when I can, but I am simply grateful when someone, male or female, opens one for me. I cannot imagine a reaction other than, "Oh, how nice of you! Thanks!"

I lived through one shallow, trendy feminism fad (as a child in the seventies—"You've come a long way, baby!") and then lived through the long, dark winter of anti-feminism (the Reagan-Bush-Clinton-Bush-early Obama years—pretty much forever). I am not above taking scraps. One problem in a movement being taking over by…

Another Match.com story. I said this in response to an earlier one, but all of Match.com's sites should have what the Japanese government apparently requires: An apparatus for verifying the identities and specifics of accounts. I was able to provide proof of my name, address, job title, income, and marital status…

If there was a blanket "Don't respond to comments" policy, it might be easier to swallow, but if you look, Rebecca is down here in the comments section responding to more innocuous comments. These writers are smart people with good consciences and evident pride in their work. The utter (UTTER!) lack of a response to…

What you said. It's four a.m. here in Kyoto and I can't pry myself away.

This is just too surreal. At least you have to give Jezebel credit for stunning consistency IN COMPLETELY IGNORING THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. Apparently, not a single Jezebel author or editor will ever acknowledge what a massive fuck-up the Vogue cover stunt was. I wonder if individual authors/editors feel ashamed…

Works for me. (Not that that's the point, of course.) Now I'm incredibly curious to know what it's like to kiss her. I wonder if the pinheads declaring that she is "unattractive" would say the same if she was a man. If you had two people of similar physique and similar facial features, why would judge a beard to look…

And all the AOL disks. Scads of them, like the scales from some giant, ugly fish.