I feel the same way about Tremors. I don't know that that means anything, I just felt like sharing.

Is "wimpy-ass school" where people go to learn that horrible fingertip handshake thing?

Does anyone have the childless friend who has very strong opinions on the right way to raise children? This missive reminds me of that.

If you can introduce me to the real-world Cayce Pollard, I'll parachute off the Burj Khalifa.

Coming to this late — but if you're the inspiration for Meredith, I'm totally going to brag to my friends that I've met you. This totally counts.

You make an interesting point regarding the accessibility of a sidearm for someone riding a motorcycle. Isn't there an equivalent issue with the accessibility of the weapon for the SUV driver? When you say "dump the first mag," it seems likely you're describing a fully automatic rifle. Where should a thoughtfully…

It's always better when you get to finish.

Coming right out of the "douchebag" mention in your headline, there's a joke to be made about wine turning to vinegar. I find I'm not smart enough to make it.

Shame that all those politicians have seen through your ruse, and your effort to distract from REAL public health crises like very old men struggling to maintain erections, or people being unable to overeat with impunity.

But they probably got PCOS or acne on purpose in order to facilitate your whorepulative tendencies.

I'm trying to get as much life as I can out of my trusty iPhone 3GS — I just like the design better than the newer-brickier ones, and it's still fairly serviceable, if sometimes slow. If anyone has any experience with whited00r on a 3GS, I'd love to hear how that's working.

And was it exactly in the middle? Like, dead center?

I face this constantly in my own local school board meetings (the sports focus, not the gaybashing; they leave that to the kids). The only thing that gets big crowds to come to meetings is the rumor that there might be reductions in spending on sports. The proposed alternative is to save money by cutting AP classes.…

I use Bluefire. It's not great but it's serviceable.

Actually I probably just need to accept that at my age and life-station, I generally look more like a dorky dad than a douche, no matter what hat I wear or do not wear.

I find myself needing to wear hats now, owing to the diminishing hair coverage and a lesson (hard-way) about scalp sunburns. The problem is I have many beloved baseball-style caps that are just too casual for many situations, but any other type of hat I put on looks (to my eye, anyway) douchy.

Collin Klein falls asleep asking himself that very question every night, stroking an imaginary Heisman trophy as his eyes drift shut.

I see you listed three reasons.

There's a Night Cheese joke to be made here, but I'm not brave or smart enough to make it.

Those of us who dip a finger and suck get left out of everything. And only partly because our fingers are sticky and gross.