Robert muller has only two items on his desk.

Did no one see that Carrie Fisher won last night? 

Do you think that Lorne Michaels is regretting not allowing Weekend Update to happen during the month of August like they did last year? He and the writers were probably like ‘oh, well, enough has probably calmed down that Che and Jost can host the Emmy’s in peace.”

Has anyone seen Legends of Tomorrow? I feel like that’s like the ugly stepchild of the Arrowverse, which stinks because everyone seems to be having a ball on that. 

the wig she wore in Justice League was more realistic than the one in Aquaman. 

Me: -as I read the headline- Please let her have a good wig, please let her have a good wig, please let have a good wig. 

I remember my dad sitting me and my brothers seemingly eons ago and was like “the internet remembers everything. Don’t post anything that if you got famous, be it tomorrow or ten years from now, would get you in trouble.”

Admission time:

skyscraper and Sicario. Both are dumb. The latter I actually figured out I was a last minute 3rd wheel (basically it was a date my brother was on but he invited me as a pity invite) and I left multiple times.

seriously heroin is some fucked up shit (i know some people who used to do but managed to get sober before it got too bad) and I’m hoping Demi is able to get the help she needs

Honestly, Denise Richards needs a good role, because I know she’s turned down a lot to raise not only her kids but Charlie Sheen’s sons from the third marriage as well, at least until they had to be removed

it would probably be Dre dies, suddenly. That way Charlie can be like “Dre’s ghost visited me last night. He told me to look after the kids. Especially Diane.” -looks at Diane- “I have to respect the ghost’s wishes. Doesn’t mean I don’t have to like it.” 

I would have loved for Trump to say some off the cuff racist comment about Meghan and Harry being like -puts down Tea cup- ‘sorry Grandmother’ -attacks Trump-

Honestly I would have preferred to get dressed up fancy and watched tennis for a entire afternoon than get dressed up fancy and sit and have tea and listen to Trump brag for like a hour

Somehow there’s been a couple of Drive-Ins (!!) that have popped up around the DFW area and they’ve started doing double features. Like showing Jurassic Park and then Jurassic World.

My mom is CONVINCED that the Queen is going to keep Trump waiting, come in for like five minutes and decide just as tea is being poured, that it’s time to walk the dogs and just leave because she’s a badass like that haha 

yes

Honestly, if anything I would go into Barnes and Noble, take a bunch of blu-rays and books and leave.

if you’ve ever read the rules to the purge they state that like elected officials are off limits, because given the chance, you can’t tell me, Chris Evans, knowing he couldn’t get in trouble, would turn down a chance to put on his Captain America suit, break down the oval office door with his shield, and sucker punch…

I’m on my phone but for some reason this article made me think of the part of Anna Kendricks memoir where she talks about how there’s the double standard that women are suppose to protect themselves while men are suppose to be spreading their sees and Anna’s like ‘if we’re suppose to protect ourself a form everyone…