MRE

I love that people still use the word “Quaint.” It makes spotting douchebags so much easier.

This poor guy got screwed. Possession of the middle of the stick constitutes ownership, I say.

Whichever team Drake likes this week.

It’s important we don’t ignore what the Israelites did to provoke the Pharaoh’s wrath.

So? That’s not a huge mystery.

Concept: A+

Damn, I was actually looking forward to what happened this weekend.

“Swastika of Human Feces”? Sounds like modern art.

Gotta be the Browns.

This would be a nice time to re-stress the importance of commas.

Not a sandwich.

-Brian Hoyer

There’s no way of being ambiguous here: the first time I went down on a girl she ejaculated all over my face.

Seems like a good compromise

I always thought it was an Amish Jimmy Fallon.

Has anybody checked on Jon Stewart recently?

#DeweyTruther

“Young Gronk...”