This dude also makes his kids pose with mashed potatoes every year, which is cool and normal.

That was some magic lumens.

Slice it in half and hang it in the pantry as an example to all other potatoes who are thinking about sprouting. 

When it enables mockery of a mediocre defensive shortstop who became a media darling for literally one defensive play and who was allowed to gain ownership of one of 30 total major league franchises, yes.

Better teach this kid some control before he kills somebody.

Ahem...

Wow. I really wish I hadn’t clicked on that. Jesus christ...

Until and unless someone’s arm literally detaches during the throw, 50 Cent’s first pitch to Mars via the Queensboro Bridge will forever be the worst.

I think it’s her complete lack of concern for the guy she just drilled in the face that really caps it.

Potatoes USA has a mascot offering tips and recipes - Spudley Do-Right. 

His twitter feed is the Platonic ideal of a Trump voter's twitter feed.

https://twitter.com/DBINOTTO1/status/1119029499365154817?s=20 

The house is not vacant. Todd Haley has been staying there since Brown moved out.

Look, its been almost a year since he wanted to cut off his father’s head, and he only had two Glocks, three rifles, and a suppressor for a handgun in his truck at the time.  Nothing too crazy, like live grenades or whatever.

 a man who for his own health probably shouldn’t be playing football.

This team has multiple players that couldn’t hack it for Buffalo.

retired before the 2018 season and said his liver and kidneys were “shutting down.”

also:

Soylent Green Day < Soylent Stone Temple Pilots

“scale human legs like climbing walls in order to beg for popcorn. (The hell? How is anyone cool with that?)“