OK... But then he goes the rest of the fucking letter worrying about what happened to his chicken. The “even before the pasta” is not the focus of the letter, it is just emphasis for how “suspiciously” early he thought the food was.  He never mentions the piecemeal delivery again.

The way he says “even before the pasta” makes it sound like it was probably only out a minute or two before, but he expected them (on goddamn valentine’s day) to not deliver the food for 20-30 minutes and felt “rushed”.

Yep.  I and my family have not done any major day the day of.  V-Day, Mother’s/Father’s Day.  They all get moved forward to the Sunday before or back to a Sunday after.  Nothing magical about those days themselves.

Yeah, there are definitely two things here.

Thank you! Idiot in Iowa is an insane person. “Hey, it’s a super busy night. Maybe we don’t want to just fry one goddamn chicken breast at a time?  Just a thought guys.”

I’m not sold on this definition, because “Saint Louis style” can be identified by sight because they use disgusting process cheese that looks like human skin stretched over pizza.  And the gross cheese is the only thing that really makes their “style” (Oh, and apparently making a cracker instead of a pizza crust).

“Crispy crust” and “pan style” don’t really go together.

Most pizza is good (not counting chain delivery places), but you don’t get to create a separate style by just putting the fucking sauce on last like a lunatic.

I seriously doubt the diablo sauce has any pure extract in it.  It’s simply not that hot.

Absolutely right.  I like hot food, but I don’t get the point of hot just for the sake of it.  The thing is a lot of hot peppers have great flavor (like habaneros).

To be fair, I actually like a decent chain-ish Mexican place sometimes, it’s just not authentic Mexican. But occasionally, enchiladas with random brown sauce on them is better than authentic street tacos.

I can pretty much guarantee they are pickled, not in their natural form.

Yeah.  It’s actually cheaper to get a full meal at the Tacquieria down the street from me than it is to get a full meal at taco bell.

You could not be more wrong.  Papas con chorizo is one of the best Mexican creations in existence.

Did you mean Aji? Which are rarely shipped outside of South America and the carribean? And are one of the least likely to be found in a US market?

Every word in this post is dumber than the last. What the fuck are you talking about. And post a video of you eating whole jalapenos and getting no spice at all. Thanks.

“so going after KFC is a bit like slamming Outback Steakhouse for its cheeseburgers”

To be fair, the kind of guy that ratchets up calling a woman “baby” when she asks him not too would probably get off on the baby talk.

See, e.g., every verified woman’s timeline on Twitter.

Interesting. You got a skinny little runt named Dalton working there?